


Sweet Buns

by CayasAbscence



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Collegestuck, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-05-31 15:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6476401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CayasAbscence/pseuds/CayasAbscence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and Karkat are gay nerds. The end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a whole revamp of chapters 1-3 with my new beta and she's perfect, so I would suggest rereading!

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are currently boiling with rage because your stupid-ass of a best friend, Gamzee Makara, and your lousy roommate, Tavros Nitram suddenly decided it would be an appropriate time for them to have another one of their moan-offs. You just can't take it anymore.

 

You literally JUST came back home from your classes and your part time job at the local flower shop. Gamzee's already moaning your ears off, so you just decide to leave and go for coffee. Since it’s the midst of December, you grab your jacket. Leaving  campus, you head down to your favorite coffee shop.

 

After seven instances of you almost slipping on the frozen puddles on the sidewalk, and two of you actually slipping (which lead to at least three minutes of throwing a tantrum each time), you made it to your destination. You get to the main entrance where a sheet of paper is taped to the front door reading, "Closed for today, the barista had to get her tonsils removed after sucking to much DICK." The sign didn't actually say that, but that's how you decided to take the news. Despite the fact that you just walked a mile through the coldness of New York, you find yourself smiling at the simple fact of that bitch of a barista, Vriska, is out for at least a couple of days. You have your morning English classes together, and if you were to hear her voice for more than 90 minutes straight, you were going to puncture your ears with a pair of scissors.

  


You are, however, still pretty pissed that you can't get any coffee, but Tavros and Gamzee are probably still not done with their bulge-sucking, so you just go for a walk.

After almost freezing your balls off in the cold due to you walking around like an idiot in the cold for the past fifteen minutes, you manage to stumble upon a little coffee shop with a bright pink and purple sign reading "Codfee.”  After staring at it for a good minute you realise it’s a Fish/Coffee pun. Even though every single cell in your body is about to die of cringe due to that terrible pun, you still find the idea of hot coffee quite alluring. You walk in and are greeted by a waft of coffee smell, bright colors, soft looking furniture and the most indifferent looking person ever.

 

Probably because of the shades.

 

              

* * *

 

  


Your Name is Dave Strider and a pretty grumpy looking guy just stormed into your coffee shop. Well, it isn't actually yours, but it belongs to your old friend Feferi Peixes, and you work here part time to support your wild and extravagant college life.

 

By which you mean you buy Doritos and orange soda from your earnings. "What would you like today," you ask the grumpy guy standing in front of you. He's basically molesting the menu with his eyes.

 

"I don't know," he says. You raise your eyebrows. This guy’s voice is a lot more high pitched and still growlier than you expected.

"What tastes the least like cat piss?"

You smirk. For a dude sounding basically prepubescent, he sure has a foul mouth. "Basically everything tastes like the sweet urine of felines, but the Latte Macchiato is pretty good,” you say, and earn a chuckle from him at that remark.

"Yeah, sure I'd take that, but what kind of pastries do you have,” he asks.

"Our sweet buns are the best around" You say proudly, because it’s true. They are perfect. Your friend Jane bakes them in the back of the shop every day, and they are kind of your trademark symbol.

 

"Sure I would love your sweet buns"

You chuckle a little when he realizes what he said.

"You can have my sweet buns, but do you want the pastries,"you ask.

He grunts in response, and you choose to take as a yes. You retrieve the baked goods from the back and then make the coffee.

 

Looking over your shoulder, you halfheartedly yell “What's your name?" in his general direction.

"Huh? Oh!, Name’s Karkat"

“Mine is Dave!” This is when you first really look at him, the grumpy-looking guy with ruffled black hair, an oversized sweater, dark jeans and a slight overbite, and you can't help but smile at his general appearance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat Are being huge dorks and eat cake.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you think you may have a new favorite coffee shop.

 

After having the best coffee since 9th grade and some amazing pastries (seriously, they were great), you sit around and talk with the barista for a little while. A tall, sandy blond guy with shades, a red hoodie, blue jeans. Pale skin with freckles peaking through the top and bottom of his shades.

He's actually less of an insufferable prick than you thought at first, and pretty funny. After finding out you both go to the same college, you discuss your classes. With him majoring in art, and you majoring in journalism, you realize you share English class tomorrow morning. You decide to meet there because you really have to leave to take care of your roommate After exchanging PesterChum handles, you leave with a strange sense of warmth in your gut.

You arrive at home at almost 7:30 PM, and your phone starts vibrating. You check your notifications and see a new friend request on your PesterChum mobile app. Someone named turntechGodhead, Dave's handle. You hit accept and have a heated first conversation with the barista until 3 am. You both agree to continue talking in English class.

You wake up to the house smelling dank as fuck at 7am, and head to the kitchen to see your roommate making some of his “special” pies, which means a big pile of pot brownies. You just take a shower, get dressed, grab toast and then leave.

On your way to your English class, you are affronted by a familiar pair of shades.

"Sup."

* * *

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and you just had your funniest English class yet It even outranks the one where Mr. Campbell accidentally lit his "hair" on fire. Oh man, you will never forget the look on his face when he realized he just lost his best toupée.

You and Karkat kept making jokes, laughing and "sharing mad banter" as Mr.Campbell put it when he called the two of you out on disrupting the class.

You’ve lost yourself in your thoughts, when a familiar voice pulls you out of your head.

"Hey! I asked you something you Dipshit!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sorry, what was it?"

"I asked you if you wanted to join me for lunch!"

"Umm, sure, where'd you wanna go?"

"There's this great bakery just a block or two from here, they serve some good-ass cakes."

"Does that really count as lunch?"

"Fuck off, If I want to have cake for lunch, I’m gonna have cake for lunch, there is no fucking legal case about cake..."

He just goes off on a tangent about lawyers, cakes, and the meaning of life, but you just tune him out midway, and stare at him for a while. He get's really into his rants, and ignores all the sideway glances he earns from the other students passing by.

After a while you get tired of just standing in the middle of the hallway, so you pull at the hem of his oversized sweater to get him to stop talking and, surprisingly, he does.

"I really want cake now, you seriously impressed me with your speech. We are now sharing our intricate opinions of lunch-cake. Can we PLEASE go and get some, or else I will honestly eat you."

"Ugh. Fine, let's go!"

* * *

 

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are walking down the street with Dave Strider.

After a quarter hour of arguing about the best cake, Strider siding with cheesecake, while you prefer red velvet, you arrive at the bakery. You were affronted by a middle aged man in a hat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat are being dorks and adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this Chapter was a pain in the ass to write. Welp.
> 
> (That B.C. is so important is my headcanon, they also own Mercedes Benz, Google and the internet. The WHOLE internet.)

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and you spent the last couple of weeks watching terrible rom-coms, eating ice cream and listening to your beats with Karkat.

It was kinda awkward at first, since you seem to not share most interests, but you both just love arguing over little things, like if "The Princess Bride" was better than "The Notebook" or if your shades are "cool/ironic" or "Absolutely fucking retarded and should burn in hell".

Right now you, Karkat, and both of your groups of friends are hanging out in the cafeteria, and they seem to get along pretty well. Especially Rose and Kanaya, but you just let them do their weird flirty thing. 

 

Karkat and John are in the middle of a long heated discussion about Matthew McConaughey, Dirk and Gamzee seem to be talking about... something... Jade and Nepeta are gossiping about relationships and pointing at people on the table, You and Tavros are dropping some sick fires, while the others seem to talk in a big cluster fuck of stories and anecdotes.

As time passes by more and more people leave the table, until only you and Karkat are left.

"So Karkles, what are you up to?"

"I swear to god, use that nickname on me one more time-- I'm going to bash your fucking head in with a rusty pipe."

"Woah Karkitty got claws!"

"Choke."

"You break my heart."

"Your dark, withering heart."

"Anyways, if you don't have anything planned, would you wanna come over?"

"As much as I would love to be sexually abused in your dorm room, I've gotta go to work."

"Aw man, You said you were working in that flower shop, right?"

 

You obviously know that for a fact, since Karkat can't top rambling about the horrible customers and his coworkers.

 

"If by 'flower shop' you mean the terrible shit hole I have to spend half of my free time in selling wilting flowers to old women to masturbate with over the grave of her deceased husband, then yes, yes I do."

"Do you really hate it that much there?"

"It's my personal hell."

"I'd have an idea. How about you come working in the coffee shop with me? I bet Feferi would give you a job if you ask her."

"And spend half of my day with YOU of all people? I'd rather choke."

"Aw come on, don't be like that Kitkat, hurting my feelings over here."

Karkat turns to you with an ... odd look on his face while yours remains as stoic as ever.

"She couldn't even afford me."

"Feferi Peixes couldn't afford you? You're really stupid sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

"God, The 'Cod-fee' Coffee shop is a part of a larger series her family owns, it just has a different name."

"Oh, and what would that be? Dunkin Donuts?"

"No, but close. You might've heard from it, It's called 'Starbucks' "

Karkat looks like his head might explode.

"STARBUCKS?! HER FAMILY FUCKING OWNS STARBUCKS?!?"

"By extension, they own the company that owns the company Starbucks, you might've heard of her families company too, it's called 'Betty Crocker'"

"YOU MEAN THE BATTERBITCH COMPANY TM?!?"

 

He actually said TM, what a fucking dork.

 

"You know it."

"Well color me surprised, and here I thought Feferi was just some Girl with a coffee shop, not a multi-million dollar company ruling half of the world."

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you just got a new job at your favorite coffee shop with the worst name and the best coworkers.

The 'job interview' which consisted of:

"Do you wanna work here?"

"Yes."

"Sure!"

was very stressful, but you somehow managed to make it.

You're starting work on Monday, but you gotta make it without a job until then, since you quit quite dramatically the day you got the job for sure.

You basically went to your boss, Helen, and told her what you always wanted to say:

"Helen, I quit and first of all, nobody here wants to talk about the Real Housewives of LA with you and second of all your husband’s cheating on you with the intern."

And then you left.

To pass time you've been pestering Dave a lot these last days, and you promised to come over today, even though you're really not in the mood to get out of bed, but he prepared a rom-com marathon so you just could not say no.

Watching movies with Dave was better than he expected, even though you appreciate the story and see rom-coms as God's gift to humanity, but Dave always found flaws in the characters, which you loved, because that means he actually watches the movie.

Also sitting next to Dave huddled on a couch eating popcorn is just a great experience which you would recommend to anyone.

It's time to get up now, so you take a shower, dress yourself and head out. You aren't even going to try to tame the mess that you call hair.

You reach the door to Dave's dorm room and knock, feeling more than a little nervous, for whatever reason. After a lot of shuffling, Dave opens the door and gestures you to come inside.

You settle on the couch and open Netflix, and after some disputes you decide to go for 'Sleepless in Seattle'. You manage to keep your composure to halfway through the movie until you 'accidentally' lean against Dave and refuse move, and he just keeps on rambling about the movie without addressing you drooling on his shoulder.

You're happier than ever.


End file.
